Thursday, 24 September 2015

It's Pronounced "dətɑ̃"

Back when I was growing up, being "bundled" was a thing you tried your bloody-minded best to avoid on your birthdays at school. To this day, that term first-and-foremost means to me a torrent of well meaning but misguided associates hurling themselves on you from all angles in a freestyle human hailstorm of good-natured gangland mayhem.

That said, Markosia and Drivethrucomics have just announced the "Works of Cy Dethan Bundle", which collects virtually every word I've ever written on a Markosia creator-owned project into a single package weighing in at under $20. About the only item missing from the list appears to be my "Gateway Drugs" story (with Row Bird, Peter Mason and Nic Wilkinson) from the British Showcase Anthology. Seriously, what else were you going to use that $19.91 for - Pogs? That's what you modern kids are into these days, right? Pogs?

So, with the first rumbles of this year's Thought Bubble already juddering the crockery, I'm excitedly grinding my emotional gearbox to shift into the "human social interaction" mode that I have surprisingly little use for much of the year. Working entirely from a darkened room at the very top of my three-story Volcano Lair, most days go by without me seeing a single living human face other than Nic Wilkinson's - barring a few generic non-people I might catch sight of as I walk with her to the bus stop, which I'm not sure really count.

In general, this set-up has worked pretty well for me, and about the only thing that tends to trip me up is when I unexpectedly have to explain my name to someone at the door or on the phone. Generally, I'll slip into auto-pilot and rattle out "It'sDethanThat'sDeeEeeTeeAitchAyEnn" as if it were all one word, and I'll usually have to say it twice before they quite believe it. After a brief period of frowning, squinting at what they've just written and deciding that it can't be right, the following conversation ensues, almost always identically:

Them: Deth-un?
Me: No, it's Dethan.
Them: Dett-hunn?
Me: Dethan.
Them: Dit-honn?
Me: Getting warmer. It's Dethan.
Them: [miscellaneous gibberish practically worthy of a Two Ronnies sketch]

If you're reading this at all, then there's a decent chance we know each other personally and you already have a pretty good handle on this, but for the removal of doubt where it's needed, the correct pronunciation of my name is "dətɑ̃". Of course, you need at least a decent grasp of French phonemic transcription to make sense of that, so I'm proposing a compromise position, founded on most people's first attempt.

Say it with me now: Deth-Un.

From now on, anyone who offers Deth-Un as a proposed pronunciation will not be corrected. Rather, they will be applauded and celebrated in song and fire by the spirits of my long-buried Norman and Viking ancestors.

Anything... ANYTHING to never have to hear "Dee-thin" again...

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